Waiting for my bed to evaporate the Febreeze. Then, I make it and maybe go to bed, maybe wake up and do PE hw. Dunno, have to get ready, too, though. 11:22, waking up @ maybe what 5? Maybe..
Monday, March 25, 2013
What I'm Doing
4th layer of nail polish which is sparkles drying.
Have to wake up and pack I guess, oh yea want to do workouts but am tired but know I need to do them. More Jillian Michaels? All I've got, no money on my card, my mom took it. So, what, core, butt, chest, upper and core? xp It helps a lot, then side sit-ups. Maybe stay up and finish Weight Training 1 hw so I can get credit, couldn't do all of the last 1, really, but she said it's in order, don't think it was. I found it wasn't like a class teaching it, we just look up words in a book. It's okay but I mean might take an hour. 10:27 P.M.
Have to wake up and pack I guess, oh yea want to do workouts but am tired but know I need to do them. More Jillian Michaels? All I've got, no money on my card, my mom took it. So, what, core, butt, chest, upper and core? xp It helps a lot, then side sit-ups. Maybe stay up and finish Weight Training 1 hw so I can get credit, couldn't do all of the last 1, really, but she said it's in order, don't think it was. I found it wasn't like a class teaching it, we just look up words in a book. It's okay but I mean might take an hour. 10:27 P.M.
Tacky
Why do people like my mom think I'm tacky because my dad is born in Pennsylvania + how he's born in 1950?
Also
There are videos in Australia of her saying Aussies are exceedingly attractive and she could buy a house there. There were so many of those videos at the end.
Ate
Sushi
Rump Roast and Old Beef *BLEH*
Cooked Italian Greens, this time didn't have so much. :|
the rest of the white cake and extra vanilla frosting and Breyer's vanilla ice cream
nighttime quelling tea, more hot water on stove
Rump Roast and Old Beef *BLEH*
Cooked Italian Greens, this time didn't have so much. :|
the rest of the white cake and extra vanilla frosting and Breyer's vanilla ice cream
nighttime quelling tea, more hot water on stove
TV
So, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" isn't showing? She's away. It said she'd do the show there. Also, she was sick 2 weeks ago. I don't think she did the show, last week.
Late Mid-Term 4 Acting 1
1. So, far, about the class, I feel it's just an opportunity to come in and act, like when I did singing you just come in and sing.
I think I'm doing well, for a 1st try. I feel I can correct myself.
I think my performance is refined and just find it as a practicing opportunity. I just don't really know about my age and past experience.
My concentration is pretty good, but I find the class is just a fun class but not fun about acting, really. I should probably be able to explain more, but that's all I think. It's not really important. I wouldn't like the other acting classes, anyway.
My ability to take direction is fine.
I work well with others, but they can tell I have problems, like with my race and health. However, I find they think I think I deserve too much.
I try to compare with other people, but I mean they seem kinda racist, like maybe they look more like a movie star than me, you know like a child starlet or like if there were some big, tall supermodel.
I am just frustrated, really just came in to have a good time because you never know what will happen in your life. Actually, I would have came last semester, stayed home to get better, but I wasn't sure I would. However, things just went downhill. I had to stop calling my grandma. I figured, if I didn't go, then I'd get mad. It was a miserable time at home. If I didn't know about your class, I'd just wait and look for something else.
2. What do you mean taking direction without defensiveness?? I cannot say you are unoffensive, and I mean if someone told me I was offensive I'd take it in stride..
I think my voice is stronger than most people's. It's just not as specific, like as thin-worn.
My diction is appealing and unappaling. However, I have a hard time with German sounds.
My movement seems pretty spot-on because I've always been like self-conscious.
My dance is probably better than most actors since I'm also a ballerina and did gymnastics and athletics..
My facial expression is getting better. The nose strip really helped, but I know you can't use them all the time.
My flexibility is like weird, like I can't seem to bend over the right way, like I'm not European, like I'm a poor, thin Asian man.
My concentration seems better than most people's. I mean, I know like having sparkly, blue eyes is good.
My memorization is very good. I don't feel as fuzzy on it and am not as nervous about forgetting. However, I guess since I cleaned my room maybe my life will be less strenuous. I have my camera set up now so I can post it on YouTube and wait and see if anyone will ever comment, not hard to record.
My discipline to work hard is not under the par.
Taking direction carefully is something I care about immensely.
I take direction without defensiveness. I guess some people are just worried about who they are, like their lifestyle, should get a blog.
My creativity seems to be more fervent than others's passion for impressing others for attention.
My improv skills seem pretty stale and raw, but I'm getting there, by and by.
Other things are maybe I just need more time reading drama, but I mean I find I'm made fun of for a lotta c*** I read. I mostly blog and read blogs and even have blogs with my own stories I made during a time I just stayed home, last semester, and took walks and watched the TV show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I like "Cats" fanfic, but I did that when it came out, the DVD, in 1998. I guess I need to get healthier. I noticed my skills digressing, as well. Like, sometimes, when I act, it's not really as stellar, like because I'm in the process of preparing for something else in my life. So, it might be like when I started singing, and I have interesting emotional moments, weird ways of pronouncing things in American English and ***y gestures.
3. Distracting physical habits may include my hair. I've already tried dying it, actually, and went bald. That may have been the cause of my problems. Maybe, I didn't like my bangs. Maybe, I didn't like the hair gloss. It was supposed to wash out, you know. So, I just was worried it really is too expensive to get a perm at my age and stature. I mean, it's not blonde, so I don't know how to dye it. People expect it to be black because my mom is Asian. I guess with Middle Easterners, it must be a different situation. I'm gonna look at the hair products and see if I can fluff it up and thicken it. I've already been using Sheer Blonde for so long but had it dark recently. It was brown before but like looked black sometimes, so. It just seems like kinda spuddy and maybe Eurasian. I don't see anything good about it. I mean, shiny hair is good, but if it's always black it doesn't really count. I can't do anything about my ancestors, but my mom is not very dark. I guess I also didn't dye it because I realized that no color would blend in, at my age. I'm not from up north, and I don't know any Eurasians from there. I see lots of people dye their hair, so maybe I want to be different. I mean, I wouldn't make it very red, though it used to be red. It's just that black undertone, I'm trying to make it naturally better.
I used to always touch my thick, fluffy hair. When it was less fluffy, I would touch my nose, though. Now, I tend to get irritated from an embarrassing thing "online." I think getting up and going to Valencia helped. That's really my problem now. I have to say Tim Burton ruined my life. I was a big fan and still am. I mean, I couldn't improve at home, as a result of the hardships of being a fan. Johnny Depp made me m*********. I mean, I did that when I was 7-10 and not as often until my life became an experiment. I don't know what's wrong with it, but like weird thoughts make you do it. I just don't like how people make you feel all at once and you can't live your dream and be like a Flower Child. That's always been frowned upon. I think now we understand things better and could make life better for kids today. It's just like maybe something's not there. I firmly believe in the environment. So, what this does for my acting is like I mean I've always tried to be like stellar and quick, and I know some people, like strict people, are like that very much so, and you have to dig in and find out about it. I have subtle wrinkles of the face from being a thinner, gaunt, but not too thin person.
4. My greatest strengths as an actor so far are probably just like I mean I've been at home working on meditating myself but being unable to see anyone. I just post online and post myself singing, but I don't get comments so much at all. I think that's helped me the most. I just feel you didn't say like oh you're supposed to know about feeling good or I will help you refine yourself or oh this class is just for fun and like reading plays or me writing anything is not an option. I mean, you could at least like interpret something, but I mean maybe I missed something. I just don't know the benchmarks. I come in and do it and it feels funny getting credit hours for this, I mean, but I mean it's probably okay since I've done ballet. I do believe in your creed. I just don't come in submitting to s*** like about scripts. I know on IMDb they think it's about scripts, and I think that killed me. I've delved into something, and I didn't get something out of it. No one acknowledges how I can go into a movie, a musical, something I know about and something I care about. It's like an assignment, but no one cares. It's some thing that no one cares about because I'm the 1 who said it.
I think I'm doing well, for a 1st try. I feel I can correct myself.
I think my performance is refined and just find it as a practicing opportunity. I just don't really know about my age and past experience.
My concentration is pretty good, but I find the class is just a fun class but not fun about acting, really. I should probably be able to explain more, but that's all I think. It's not really important. I wouldn't like the other acting classes, anyway.
My ability to take direction is fine.
I work well with others, but they can tell I have problems, like with my race and health. However, I find they think I think I deserve too much.
I try to compare with other people, but I mean they seem kinda racist, like maybe they look more like a movie star than me, you know like a child starlet or like if there were some big, tall supermodel.
I am just frustrated, really just came in to have a good time because you never know what will happen in your life. Actually, I would have came last semester, stayed home to get better, but I wasn't sure I would. However, things just went downhill. I had to stop calling my grandma. I figured, if I didn't go, then I'd get mad. It was a miserable time at home. If I didn't know about your class, I'd just wait and look for something else.
2. What do you mean taking direction without defensiveness?? I cannot say you are unoffensive, and I mean if someone told me I was offensive I'd take it in stride..
I think my voice is stronger than most people's. It's just not as specific, like as thin-worn.
My diction is appealing and unappaling. However, I have a hard time with German sounds.
My movement seems pretty spot-on because I've always been like self-conscious.
My dance is probably better than most actors since I'm also a ballerina and did gymnastics and athletics..
My facial expression is getting better. The nose strip really helped, but I know you can't use them all the time.
My flexibility is like weird, like I can't seem to bend over the right way, like I'm not European, like I'm a poor, thin Asian man.
My concentration seems better than most people's. I mean, I know like having sparkly, blue eyes is good.
My memorization is very good. I don't feel as fuzzy on it and am not as nervous about forgetting. However, I guess since I cleaned my room maybe my life will be less strenuous. I have my camera set up now so I can post it on YouTube and wait and see if anyone will ever comment, not hard to record.
My discipline to work hard is not under the par.
Taking direction carefully is something I care about immensely.
I take direction without defensiveness. I guess some people are just worried about who they are, like their lifestyle, should get a blog.
My creativity seems to be more fervent than others's passion for impressing others for attention.
My improv skills seem pretty stale and raw, but I'm getting there, by and by.
Other things are maybe I just need more time reading drama, but I mean I find I'm made fun of for a lotta c*** I read. I mostly blog and read blogs and even have blogs with my own stories I made during a time I just stayed home, last semester, and took walks and watched the TV show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I like "Cats" fanfic, but I did that when it came out, the DVD, in 1998. I guess I need to get healthier. I noticed my skills digressing, as well. Like, sometimes, when I act, it's not really as stellar, like because I'm in the process of preparing for something else in my life. So, it might be like when I started singing, and I have interesting emotional moments, weird ways of pronouncing things in American English and ***y gestures.
3. Distracting physical habits may include my hair. I've already tried dying it, actually, and went bald. That may have been the cause of my problems. Maybe, I didn't like my bangs. Maybe, I didn't like the hair gloss. It was supposed to wash out, you know. So, I just was worried it really is too expensive to get a perm at my age and stature. I mean, it's not blonde, so I don't know how to dye it. People expect it to be black because my mom is Asian. I guess with Middle Easterners, it must be a different situation. I'm gonna look at the hair products and see if I can fluff it up and thicken it. I've already been using Sheer Blonde for so long but had it dark recently. It was brown before but like looked black sometimes, so. It just seems like kinda spuddy and maybe Eurasian. I don't see anything good about it. I mean, shiny hair is good, but if it's always black it doesn't really count. I can't do anything about my ancestors, but my mom is not very dark. I guess I also didn't dye it because I realized that no color would blend in, at my age. I'm not from up north, and I don't know any Eurasians from there. I see lots of people dye their hair, so maybe I want to be different. I mean, I wouldn't make it very red, though it used to be red. It's just that black undertone, I'm trying to make it naturally better.
I used to always touch my thick, fluffy hair. When it was less fluffy, I would touch my nose, though. Now, I tend to get irritated from an embarrassing thing "online." I think getting up and going to Valencia helped. That's really my problem now. I have to say Tim Burton ruined my life. I was a big fan and still am. I mean, I couldn't improve at home, as a result of the hardships of being a fan. Johnny Depp made me m*********. I mean, I did that when I was 7-10 and not as often until my life became an experiment. I don't know what's wrong with it, but like weird thoughts make you do it. I just don't like how people make you feel all at once and you can't live your dream and be like a Flower Child. That's always been frowned upon. I think now we understand things better and could make life better for kids today. It's just like maybe something's not there. I firmly believe in the environment. So, what this does for my acting is like I mean I've always tried to be like stellar and quick, and I know some people, like strict people, are like that very much so, and you have to dig in and find out about it. I have subtle wrinkles of the face from being a thinner, gaunt, but not too thin person.
4. My greatest strengths as an actor so far are probably just like I mean I've been at home working on meditating myself but being unable to see anyone. I just post online and post myself singing, but I don't get comments so much at all. I think that's helped me the most. I just feel you didn't say like oh you're supposed to know about feeling good or I will help you refine yourself or oh this class is just for fun and like reading plays or me writing anything is not an option. I mean, you could at least like interpret something, but I mean maybe I missed something. I just don't know the benchmarks. I come in and do it and it feels funny getting credit hours for this, I mean, but I mean it's probably okay since I've done ballet. I do believe in your creed. I just don't come in submitting to s*** like about scripts. I know on IMDb they think it's about scripts, and I think that killed me. I've delved into something, and I didn't get something out of it. No one acknowledges how I can go into a movie, a musical, something I know about and something I care about. It's like an assignment, but no one cares. It's some thing that no one cares about because I'm the 1 who said it.
Recieved E-Mail
The UCF Office of Pre-Professional Advising (OPPA) is designed to:
¨ provide guidance and support to students
interested in pursuing careers in the health and legal professions.
¨ provide information about the field of law and a wide variety of health-related
fields such as:
¨ Pre-Law
¨ Allopathic (M.D.)
¨ Osteopathic (D.O.)
¨ Veterinary (D.V.M.) medicine
¨ Dentistry
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¨ Optometry
¨ Podiatry
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¨ Physician assistant
¨ Physical therapy
¨ Occupational therapy
¨ Public health
UCF Valencia West
Building 11 Room 115
Date:
Tuesday, March 26
Time:
Pre-Health at 1:00-2:00
Pre-Law at 2:30-3:30
What I'm Doing
I did my laundry and am washing my bedding, took a nice shower-bath but no fancy gel. What else? Did my face.. Combed my hair or brushed. Hm..cooking. Plan to do my theater midterm, memorize, and PE hw. Get ready and go to bed. Maybe watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" when I wake up, unless I'm catching the bus, in which case I can watch it on my cell, at school.
Dream
I met like 4 girls who looked the same, some taller enough, sleek, thick, reddish blonde haire, bangs, freckles, English, with an accent like me that lumps to American speakers. We were in a big camp class. They were nice to me. I told them about Ginny. I think we were in a big auditorium with her, and she was sitting in it. She got up and told us about the assignment, but there was only a slice of me there, I really couldn't soak anything in. Then, I got out and spoke with some people, I think a mellow, cute boy who helped. I was reveling the whole time in the average hight being 5'2", wanting to connect that.. So, anyway, then, for some reason, I thought about Ellen DeGeneres, and I was feeling bad, like a bird or baby pony, I found when I woke up like because I was simply being attacked, and so, like I was posting what if I was a kid, so I imagined like I was a kid and she picked me up, though it didn't feel too real, just made me feel like recognized, and I said, "mom!" and barely recognize how that happened nor any feeling with it, you know, and I guess I imagined person said for whatever reason, "Okay," and like you do to a kid I learned from observing my environment.. she put my head down and then I thought ha what if my back was being rubbed because I was nervous I guess and that lasted a bit and then she quickly went around to the room of the meeting and since we knew Ginny must be there + my parents we went back out and I had to change and come back in and for some reason she just showed up and left after a bit. Well, she was there when I cursed about the medicine and stuff repeatedly. My high school principal, who retired, was there. Funny. I remember saying, "Shit." I might post more about it, later.
Not Sappy
Why do people keep picking on me? OMG Tim Burton. I mean, I'm not a bad person. I'm so sorry to break it to you. I didn't prevent anyone from living their life, and I'm not gay and sappy.
Problem
I saw these ads and it's irritating me. WTF is this? OMG you niggers go away. WTF you think I am.
Problem
I am very annoyed and want to select my company. I feel like people who are more like menial than me want me to feel menial. You know, like younger people thinking I must be a nigger and looking into me. Look, I'm not gonna sit there and fuck my life is shit because I didn't fuck it up.
A Great Depression
When people think @ Ginny, what do they think? I mean, each person is different. I saw her husband, and he seems Jewish. I mean, they seem to say well she's big and sweet but not too fat and pretty mobile. I think I was thinking about the nostalgia of the world, moreover her images she presents online that I know she for some reason cannot follow through on, which depresses me greatly..
The Opposite "Dream-"
Why if I'm supposed to be cute would the theory be I'm more like my brother as far as wanting to be European when he's a jokester? The thing is he's not really a jokester, any longer.. ..
Dirty
My pimples are dirty, have pimple cream on them. A big puss-filled 1 peeled off in like 3 days. I feel the other 1 pulsing, haven't felt that recently. I know the road is dirty and maybe not good for me, my eyesight seems affected, too. I feel like an earplug is still in my ear. I lay in the bathtub. So, I might go to bed, soon, just because. Ugh, recorded some videos taking awhile to load, 3 that are about 12 minutes long. YouTube. xp, Oh, I have to watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," tomorrow. I think I have a therapist meeting Wednesday, maybe should skip but maybe not, may not be safe. Hm, just won't do my hw? I mean it's just looking up stuff. I see I seem sick from my tan. I have little thin hairs sticking out. I have a Theater journal I forgot, well didn't realize about, was gonna do it now. Seems I may get a C. I will pass the class and move on. Not sure about the Weight Training, might not even be worth it, too hard. We'll see how I feel, I'll have to ask if it's too late since I was out, but it probably is. I don't wanna make up a class but may just figure it out. We have 1 more workbook assignment not sure what else. I just will be so stressed unless I pack when I wake up, did more laundry for the bras.
Facebook Posts
photo
photo
photo
Facebook Post
Corrine Nagim Is a 19 year old considred a youth? You know your girl would audition. I'd even consider singing with my retainer in.
Do something for yourself.
I go to Ginny's class, an adventure, and she acts like she sorta is in my life, like why don't you do something for yourself?
Something Really Funny
So, why in Slidell has it come about that like it's still recognized by any living soul to wear a colorful shirt? I mean, there's more to life than the color of a kind of shirt.
My Experience
So, if I can dance so well, does that mean my mom dances better? She is more basic. She did gymnastics as a teen. I kinda benefited from 4 different schools as a "young adult." None were good. I had that gymnastics base as a child. My mom wanted to be an ice skater, and my mom wanted her to sing. Her sister is a piano teacher. So, maybe she's a good dancer, too. I just don't know. I mean, I'm from Florida, and I always pay attention to how I move. In the New Orleans area, I always tried to move around like a ballerina.
You're not something.
You just want to make fun of me for the N word thing and don't give a crap about the Earth.
Problem
CAN YOU NIGGERS STOP BITCHING AT ME (like via clicks and glitches) ABOUT MY BENEFITS AND WHO I AM BECAUSE OF WHERE I'VE LIVED AND IF I LIVED THERE SINCE BIRTH
Taunting
You know what makes me really mad? When people taunt me. What happened to my face in my sleep? All of a sudden it was totally slammed and I'm awake and now it looks like that. Why do you want to get me to make a fool of myself and say I dreamed like I was a kid and someone was like holding me in their arms? D: Well, I accepted it but think it was weird. It seemed like a "change" from what I'd been eating, but I found it was all concocted. It's probably a lesson to help me with. Hey, why do you keep whining every time I sit there and try to think of something and check over myself? You think I'm "not something" racially? You think I'm IMMORAL
Facebook Post
Ginny Kopf Please
talk to me personally about this comment about me, rather than posting
it on Facebook. It is neither accurate nor appropriate to share on
Facebook.
Christina Barrett OK,
sorry, I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow and probably be in class
this week so I don't miss anything, guess I won't be withdrawing, this
semester..
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