What should I be doing? 8|

I don't feel like going back to bed.  My eyes just went hazy.  I wanna go to gym, but I mean then after I eat and have a meeting and then I hit the showers.  xp  My dad got me the volume shampoo, the brand of the mask, and it was $22 each.  Funny they had a pack of not too small the same $24 with something else, but no serum.  *yawn*  I am still awake.  8|

So

I was looking at the hold on my record.  It disturbed me, greatly, because I have a right to attend this school more than anyone else.  I don't have to.

Anyway, I know people will be mad at my teacher and the counselor for this fun as shit.  I don't know, you just wanna curse at me and make up shit.  BECAUSE I WON'T TAKE IT.

I'm getting weird shit you think life is about my dad, but what if I'm better than him-

GINNY WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN.  If you turn me in, you have to tell me why BEFORE, YOU.  What right do you guys have to do this?  You made me mad, and I spoke to some people about you.  You probably caused it.  :|  You just know, I'd do it again and then hurt you, huh.  Well, you are so mean.  I can do whatever I want.  Leave me alone.  WTF you think you are.  HUH.  Answer, now.

Looking @ More Pictures

I found her skinny, like me, but she had to get fatter, and I don't know why.  It looked like she was in trouble for something about it, after you think about it.  It was something about like it being annoying to like say you're sunken in but fat.  I didn't get fat.  I mean, I've been eating healthier than before, have to eat stuff I like, you know good stuff, Cracker Barrel, but I've had Pizza Pockets.  My dad just got thin pizzas.  Ugh, no sushi.. I mean, it's good but it's evil.  I had more meals, yesterday, ate out 3 times, today, in a way.  I only had a bagel and PB for breakfast, though.  ;/  Ugh, I can't remember.  This picture was like 2009, possibly 2008.  I really don't get it.  Is it some thing about not being a minority ethnicity, though?  What was it..  I think it was that like she said it was like something for her but like something she did was wrong.  Like, maybe she was mean and didn't do something, you know?  She was unable to have a good time.  Um, it was probably wrong because like she didn't do something and tried to say she did but was being tacky, like thin but like she needed to be fatter but didn't really look thin.  :|  I think Ginny would have thought that she didn't deserve anything.  Um, I already am onto something in my life, though, you just think I'm unattractive, don't like my parents, and that I don't have any thoughts.

I am very interested.

So, I am looking at pictures of Carolyn, and I noticed her mom was really strict.  Like, I saw 1 girl looked more like her daughter than her.  Her mom is taller.  There was another girl who looked like me.  Then, I saw a picture of her with Ginny.  Um..  So, like, I know, you're supposed to like fix yourself up, but you'd say like um what did I do huh?  No one would care.  You'd just kinda sit there and in the end just pull out as a mixed reaction.  I guess Ginny would be pretty strict.  I just am someone who deserves something and was locked away by Tim Burton and my dad in Orlando, which I like.  Can I tell you why?  Because it's Florida.  Do you know about that?  I grew to love the love of the exoticism and I mean don't wonder about room and proportion.  I used to live here, and coming back is like a joy from Heaven.  It is so nice.  It's the people who move here who are all mean.  It's true.  It's a secret.  I mean, I guess that the mom wasn't interested.  Like, she thought the girl was so pretty, but I mean it was rude.  Like, I mean, I don't know if she really thought that, but I MEAN I DON'T THINK THAT STUFF.  As with Ginny, I mean, what.  I am a good person, locked away, used to be more detailed, but I mean if you're not white and you wanna be what do you do?  I might be an invalid, but I mean so are you all.  I used to be more alive and sorta got all the gush sucked outta me when I posted @ Tim Burton, and now no one likes me.  I'm so lonely, you know?  I was really so mad when he didn't talk to me.  He stopped.  I was in an experiment and thought I was supposed to for fun and mad with racism call his daughter the N word.  I don't take my dad's racism, and he leaves me little shits around about it.  You all can't love me.  You just love my parents.  My life was always like busy.  When my mom came in, I was rather poking a stick at her to get back at Ginny.  I guess my mom is more of a person, you know?  Just, I lived out my European side, in a way.  I mean, I grew up with my mom because of race and um I guess because I -am- a girl.  What are you doing with my dad?  I mean, I don't take the flaws of my mom.  Also, I am very interested in everyone's racial problems.  ,=D

Problem

On Facebook, it just shows my dad and aunt all the time under Friends.  Um.. how stupid is that!  ;D'

Problem

You all are really sick to put your hands in my life like sickos like that and sorta hiccup up that it's about something I did wrong that you contrapted.  That's kinda sick, in and of itself.  I know you all are just racist and think I think I'm a good person is "just becuase I have good parents" or because you like my mom as a person and my dad doesn't like himself.  I can live my own life and be as good as other people.  I don't know what the fart you think you are, but no matter where we live we can do whatever we want.  I don't give a fuck, I know your cultures down south were like fastforwarded to say you're better, but you don't give a shit about anything.  I lived down south, and I'm not rebellious about up north being better.

Problem

I can't access my old theater teacher's Facebook.  I left some comments, yesterday.  It still shows up, publicly.  My old account doesn't have access.  What a piece of shit.  I guess she's tired of me.  What the fuck is her problem, is she a nigger?  Why are people slowly not talking to me.  That is so stupid.  You know, that is terribly mean and unheard of.  I guess Ellen DeGeneres comes from a nigger town.  I have so many problems with Ginny because of Tim Burton.  I have problems with others because of Johnny Depp.  F.Y.I., Facebook has a different layout, and I saw my dad's Facebook photo pop up and they featured Family and then slid down to movies.  Why do people keep torturing me?  I was having fun posting, posted a bit shorter, guess she thinks she's not a nigger or something!  ,:0  **** her!  I'm sorry, but you're all niggers to sit there and think I do stupid stuff, like if I have to m******** because no one talks to me!!!  WTF you think I am?  I have no friends.  All the famous people hate me, like my achievements are jokes they care not about.  I don't know WTF you are, but I'm not 17.

Tacky

Why do people like my mom think I'm tacky because my dad is born in Pennsylvania + how he's born in 1950?

Disinterest

Why does it seem like Southern states fast forward and have no interest in you?  You know, like what **** Pennsylvania?  I mean, Renée Fleming is born in 1959 and from southern PA and upstate NY.  That's too bad because it's nice in the country.  I just know my dad also lived on the East Coast.  D-8

Making up Stuff

What do you think of Órla Karron Fallon?  Why does Ginny care?  She already doesn't care about me.  You all act like I'm gay, like I'm the shit of my dad, like what he doesn't have to do to get your attention.  What is she making up?  She's not modern.  Who's gonna care?  She isn't cool.

What I Said

I just said that Ellen DeGeneres isn't nice and that her mom is, and I'm not like my parents.

Problem

I was wondering why my brother wasn't shaped like a ball, and I just for no reason felt like my private was shaped like him.  You know why that upsets me?  Because I had to deal with CRAP.  Also, my dad left the TV on, stuff my brother and I like about cooking, stuff they're proud of.  Why does he care about Pennsylvania shit?  Isn't he from there?  His dad's from by NYC.  I mean, I find him kinda like a gay boy.  I mean, he like gets in the way of my social life, somehow.  I understand everyone has this problem, though, for some reason.  It was funny, I looked different ways when I was little and didn't really enjoy it, but like then I was presentable at certain times.  Ellen DeGeneres seemed to have an uninteresting life.  She seems programmed to feel for shit, like inklings of dorky kids with dorky parents.  I mean, I just feel she isn't impressed with me, "Oh, you had a good mom."  THEN SHUT THE HELL UP.  She just wasn't a good kid, too, I think.  Most kids seem that way.  I was a good kid.  You'll say, no, it was just your mom or her race.  Okay, but I thought white people were attractive.  I don't give a crap about my grandma acting niggerish for nigger Ginny.  She's nothing.

A Feeling From a Thought

I had a feeling from a thought of barking New Orleans thinking I couldn't be thin and attractive because my dad chose to be fat like other guys but not very fat.

Realization

I realized your problem was you didn't think I could go along and live my life happily, that I couldn't really appear nice to you like my parents, who are older than you.

Kno' what I'm sayin'?

Why does Ellen DeGeneres think I made it thinking it was right my parents made my brother unattractive for me?  Maybe, he is.  He just isn't that European, know what I'm sayin'?

Something suddenly came up.

I was thinking Ellen DeGeneres got mad at my mom.  I guess she has no need to share anything because she know she will be accepted for whatever she does.  She also wonders about my brother.  I just didn't agree with the fact that he was better than my mom.  The reason was not that I dislike my dad.  Also, I feel that people are mad because they think they figured something out and that I should be with them and worship others.

I figured it out.

The problem with my cousin supposed at life's end is that she presents to me that she blames me for all her problems because she does not look as healthy as her mom.  My aunt isn't really nice to me and presents me with her daughter.  It affects other people, and it matters if it affects me.  Oops, people don't care about you, they don't want to talk to me.  Hm, it might take you awhile to make another excuse.  The answer already was a contradiction.  So, why not let it be at that?  Why is my cousin so different from her mom?  Why blame me?  Why would my dad bow down to her?  If I had a bad mom, dunno, but I don't plan to be any worse a person.

So, I have a nose pore strip on for the 1st time in like maybe over a year.

What People Know

My mom and dad are critical of Ginny, like they say her decisions are results of her flaws.  I just think well no I know that you're just upset because we aren't gonna accept cheating since Tim Burton.

As for my mom's race, I mean when you do something wrong you can't make an excuse or you will have to like sorta deal with someone else of another race you don't like.  I know you're just complaining, and you think I complain about shit and everybody does and you won't let me because you're a jealous Caucasian.

Problem

**** my dad.  He made my grandma say that because I was mad at people hurting my daughter - what a selfish, worthless, racist nigger fart - that my daughter would singularly get older 1 day - what a stupid idiot.  He says, "That's that," and you listen to him and don't k*** him.

Done

I feel like a bandaid.  Yea, I'm having my female thing, light.  I contacted to get an appointment with a female doctor since it's not coming back.  I told my psychiatrist.  Going to bed soon.  My dad will be back at noon.  He was visiting his mom at his oldest sister's house, who is younger.