Feverish.. Hm. Miss Easter and the meeting? Naw. Gotta lug out the suitcase now, van @ 6:35. Only @ an hour, better iron now.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sad Tale B(
Ginny's last name is probably Welsh, and Tim Burton's last name is probably English by Wales.. What did that mean for little Nell
What If
Ginny gave up her life to say like I don't care if a talented person is unsuccessful, maybe afraid to put her toes in the sand at the beach, and then says well yea I didn't care really in some way it seems that that means that like Johnny Depp you won't be able to sing-
All the Same
What's the song that goes, "some things are not quite the same" or "as they seem" possibly.
Why does Helena Bonham Carter think everything's the same? You know, she also is very nice, but we don't really know why she is so like hard and sorta seems dead and just lives to please and be racist. How can you live with someone who is racist just to you? I just got the message Ginny was like tearing at her hair like a mad, ma~ad rat because it was never fair, unless when she was younger..
Why does Helena Bonham Carter think everything's the same? You know, she also is very nice, but we don't really know why she is so like hard and sorta seems dead and just lives to please and be racist. How can you live with someone who is racist just to you? I just got the message Ginny was like tearing at her hair like a mad, ma~ad rat because it was never fair, unless when she was younger..
What should I be doing? 8|
I don't feel like going back to bed. My eyes just went hazy. I wanna go to gym, but I mean then after I eat and have a meeting and then I hit the showers. xp My dad got me the volume shampoo, the brand of the mask, and it was $22 each. Funny they had a pack of not too small the same $24 with something else, but no serum. *yawn* I am still awake. 8|
Watcha thinkin'?
What if Ginny scans something and then says because you did this thing as a moral joke you get punished, but I don't care what I said because you called racist person a nigger.
Up
I just ***********. This time I felt something, and I felt like a kid. |B I did feel too old for some strange reason, though. I felt like a boy with a mom born like who knows but looks like 1960 or maybe like 1945 style. You know maybe part German part Anglo.. The effects died away. I dunno, I mean I just got up and did it. I wonder if I can play piano. I've done this since before I started, but luckily I've also done gymnastics as a kid, but we didn't do bar, here. They took it away where they have adult gym on Saturdays. So, this was rather long and steady. Do you know of kids with a dad born like in 1970? I saw this rebellious girl with straight like reddish blonde hair maybe and bangs outside with like a sandbox, and then she was gone. I wonder if she has blood from New Jersey. Maybe not indian maybe not Jewish. I go around and don't feel I see real people. The kids are dirty and underfed, you know, like strangly, like people used to have strangly hair. I'm dead serious, there are no real people in this town. There never were, in a way, but I mean they seemed somewhat real.
Facebook Post
- Christina Barrett So, you're at work, I'm guessing. I took a walk so I wouldn't get like anxious, ate out, and now I'm still awake, doing my nails, have to pack, will probably wait outside with my alarm. I also have to get a back out of the washing machine and hope it dries and iron my pants for Easter.
Facebook Posts
To: Barb Barrett
liked a picture of a woman sitting in the rain with a quote about people crying alone
8-0 to a Star Wars thingy of older men
To: Linda Barber Jordan
To: Anna
Photo
So, did your family also grow up around Pennsylvania-
liked a picture of a woman sitting in the rain with a quote about people crying alone
8-0 to a Star Wars thingy of older men
To: Linda Barber Jordan
You and 2 others like this.
Christina Barrett I saved it. I am learning to cook soon. I make things like buffalo chicken sandwiches.
To: Anna
Photo
So, did your family also grow up around Pennsylvania-
Pushing Me Back
Ye Orlando citizens killed me off. Stop dragging me back to the past to mistakes. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM.
Just Saying
I was just saying that was the problem, decided not to comment. I mean, I knew that life in general was an issue. You didn't have to spit back ye nigga.
,:>
,:>
Gayness
Why do people in 1958 bring all thoughts that are untrue to the surface? They are saying hey I'm just born in 1958 don't touch me I'm here to get attention.
Facebook Posts
Barb Barrettposted toChristina Barrett
Hi Christina, what is going on these days with you?
Like ·
Christina Barrett Having
fun online, found a teacher I like so far. In the summer, I want to go
to Disney and 6 Flags. I even thought of doing floristry training but
guess not. I am trying to get in NMSU for Vocal Diction, eventually, and
keep going to AMTC every ½ year to get in a movie, singing, dancing, stand-up comedy.
My teacher had me see a counselor, and I got pulled out of being able to register for more classes. I told them I'd sue if they didn't quit it. I'm seeing him, tomorrow. In fact, I see him again in the evening with my mom. I was supposed to see him last week but didn't feel like going. I was so physically tired, like from weight training and going to the gas stations and getting food there. All I did was hit the folder and paper with pens and pencils when she made me mad. She didn't say anything. The counselor doesn't help- }; It really stressed me out and put me off. I didn't find it funny and find her selfish. I told a girl who's been in her class so far for 3 semesters just yesterday, and she probably feels the same way. She hasn't been turned down like you know for who she is and being encouraged to improve. She's a nice, heavyset girl.
TTYL
My teacher had me see a counselor, and I got pulled out of being able to register for more classes. I told them I'd sue if they didn't quit it. I'm seeing him, tomorrow. In fact, I see him again in the evening with my mom. I was supposed to see him last week but didn't feel like going. I was so physically tired, like from weight training and going to the gas stations and getting food there. All I did was hit the folder and paper with pens and pencils when she made me mad. She didn't say anything. The counselor doesn't help- }; It really stressed me out and put me off. I didn't find it funny and find her selfish. I told a girl who's been in her class so far for 3 semesters just yesterday, and she probably feels the same way. She hasn't been turned down like you know for who she is and being encouraged to improve. She's a nice, heavyset girl.
TTYL
To: Anna
Photo
You and your cousins are very sweet. My cousin is a bit strange. You can tell she thinks I'm a different ethnicity. I can't compare myself to my grandma. I mean, she seems like a Christian, you know? I only seen a picture of her when she was maybe 5 or possibly even 7. I don't think I saw pictures of her when my dad was young. I don't know, though.. Hey, I have this teacher with a dad from Pittsburgh, a mom from California, she's from Santa Clara by San Fransisco.. Her last name is Welsh and possibly a bit English but you know doesn't seem so. She is divorced and I know her real last name, now. She's done voices at Disney since 1988. Been here since like 1982 teaching. Studied in San Diego, as well. You guys's clothes are nice. I wonder why your friend doesn't wear glasses, but she looks sweet. Pennsylvania .. or NY is a nice place. I see you are built like me, with kinda heavyset arms. I think it replaced the fat because I couldn't fit into a dress for Easter my Oma made. So, how is your mom? I don't do college but if I have to have Political Science Pre-Law planned as race-based, want a nice life and a nice house, know that most of today is based on talent and art and psychology but not necessarily like clinically, you know, different story altogether. So, I plan to go to NMSU (New Mexico) and want to study Vocal Diction there, singing stuff. I can go to football games. You know, 1 semester. I was gonna go to Saint Bonaventure, but I guess I decided not to and just wanted to "get out of Florida" and forgot about it but want to maybe some other year. I should visit, too. I mean, I lived in the New Orleans area, but it's just that it's dark and I mean they aren't used to "being on land." They're the most prejudiced about their heritage nowadays, the famous people like Tim Burton and his daughter. I mean, I did what I was supposed to and won't take no for an answer, be told I didn't do something, like I didn't work ever technically or like well I'm too late to change. Well, okay, g'nite.
To: Anna
Photo
Hm, I hope you're on a good schedule of stuff. I just ate supper with my family today and feel thinner, took a long walk and ate out. You look very cute. Learn to appreciate what strength.s you have. 8I
Watched Some TV
History @ Aliens.. a good thing to watch because I took to it.
Then, Theater Talk. They showed a girl on stage being featured and an evil grin has spread across my face and I turned it off. It was Annie, though.
Then, Theater Talk. They showed a girl on stage being featured and an evil grin has spread across my face and I turned it off. It was Annie, though.
Problem
I go home and get shitty messages and hear funny noises in my room. I go to class and Ginny farts me off in private. I hate it when the noises don't stop because they sound kinda like someone could be doing them..
Also, Ginny thinks that because Tim Burton did something good everyone else is bad. Please respond by commenting here.
Also, Ginny thinks that because Tim Burton did something good everyone else is bad. Please respond by commenting here.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
NOOOO
I just realized I didn't look for short monologues. They are so long. What's this, I never had a memorizing class. This is like History, now we can read.
We'll see.
I don't have to take class during the summer because I wanna have fun. I dunno, but I do wanna go there in the Spring. Seems easy. Hm, not many requirements. Maybe, I can take classes from Ginny after. Funny, though, it'll be a long time in with different people. I will miss Ginny more than most people, I think. I can still watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Hey, they are both born in 1958, but there is nothing wrong with that. It seems to go well with the problems from my mom. My aunt is younger.
Spring '14
cheap state and not Florida|Louisiana|Pennsylvania
not Georgia bc I wouldn't like it already know Maggie Elizabeth Jones
Nevada has LV
Ugh. I want to study at NMSU and I guess see if I can afford private lessons from Ginny over the summer so maybe I can apply for the Spring, take music there. I see they have a nice Theater Arts program, but that's not what I come for.
not Georgia bc I wouldn't like it already know Maggie Elizabeth Jones
Nevada has LV
Ugh. I want to study at NMSU and I guess see if I can afford private lessons from Ginny over the summer so maybe I can apply for the Spring, take music there. I see they have a nice Theater Arts program, but that's not what I come for.
Woke Up
So, I *********** twice. It happens. The thing is I go -to do it- and like I don't want to literally be the 1 to do it like I did when I was 7. Then, I do it. Then, if I'm not tired - if I am, I roll over, look up into the ceiling and don't see it, roll over and don't know what happens then, really.. Then, if I'm kinda awake by then.. I just kinda, you know, never feel any 1 intense moment - and then I wake up and rat about it like it's *** in the building and maybe I'm just a porn bunny.
So, I had a bad dream. Last night I remember Ellen DeGeneres like maybe she had touched me and was wrestling with me I think with my arms wrestling hers. So, I remember I was on 1 side of a bed in the living room with my mom and like my brother online sending a cutesy evil message. Ginny was on the other side, a bit taller, maybe from bad frozen pizza.. and some things happened, like I rolled over onto the floor it seems and stuff like that and she was like ratting on about the summer and me missing her, not realizing how fast 3 month go by. So, she hugged me and I didn't feel anything and was thinking about the rest of this month. :|
So, I had a bad dream. Last night I remember Ellen DeGeneres like maybe she had touched me and was wrestling with me I think with my arms wrestling hers. So, I remember I was on 1 side of a bed in the living room with my mom and like my brother online sending a cutesy evil message. Ginny was on the other side, a bit taller, maybe from bad frozen pizza.. and some things happened, like I rolled over onto the floor it seems and stuff like that and she was like ratting on about the summer and me missing her, not realizing how fast 3 month go by. So, she hugged me and I didn't feel anything and was thinking about the rest of this month. :|
So
I was looking at the hold on my record. It disturbed me, greatly, because I have a right to attend this school more than anyone else. I don't have to.
Anyway, I know people will be mad at my teacher and the counselor for this fun as shit. I don't know, you just wanna curse at me and make up shit. BECAUSE I WON'T TAKE IT.
I'm getting weird shit you think life is about my dad, but what if I'm better than him-
GINNY WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN. If you turn me in, you have to tell me why BEFORE, YOU. What right do you guys have to do this? You made me mad, and I spoke to some people about you. You probably caused it. :| You just know, I'd do it again and then hurt you, huh. Well, you are so mean. I can do whatever I want. Leave me alone. WTF you think you are. HUH. Answer, now.
Anyway, I know people will be mad at my teacher and the counselor for this fun as shit. I don't know, you just wanna curse at me and make up shit. BECAUSE I WON'T TAKE IT.
I'm getting weird shit you think life is about my dad, but what if I'm better than him-
GINNY WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN. If you turn me in, you have to tell me why BEFORE, YOU. What right do you guys have to do this? You made me mad, and I spoke to some people about you. You probably caused it. :| You just know, I'd do it again and then hurt you, huh. Well, you are so mean. I can do whatever I want. Leave me alone. WTF you think you are. HUH. Answer, now.
Tired
Need to go to bed, want Pizza Pockets or thin pizza, probably not doing nothing for Easter. Maybe fasting tomorrow. I think that's all, probably can't show up for mass. I like Ash Wednesday..
Looking @ More Pictures
I found her skinny, like me, but she had to get fatter, and I don't know why. It looked like she was in trouble for something about it, after you think about it. It was something about like it being annoying to like say you're sunken in but fat. I didn't get fat. I mean, I've been eating healthier than before, have to eat stuff I like, you know good stuff, Cracker Barrel, but I've had Pizza Pockets. My dad just got thin pizzas. Ugh, no sushi.. I mean, it's good but it's evil. I had more meals, yesterday, ate out 3 times, today, in a way. I only had a bagel and PB for breakfast, though. ;/ Ugh, I can't remember. This picture was like 2009, possibly 2008. I really don't get it. Is it some thing about not being a minority ethnicity, though? What was it.. I think it was that like she said it was like something for her but like something she did was wrong. Like, maybe she was mean and didn't do something, you know? She was unable to have a good time. Um, it was probably wrong because like she didn't do something and tried to say she did but was being tacky, like thin but like she needed to be fatter but didn't really look thin. :| I think Ginny would have thought that she didn't deserve anything. Um, I already am onto something in my life, though, you just think I'm unattractive, don't like my parents, and that I don't have any thoughts.
I am very interested.
So, I am looking at pictures of Carolyn, and I noticed her mom was really strict. Like, I saw 1 girl looked more like her daughter than her. Her mom is taller. There was another girl who looked like me. Then, I saw a picture of her with Ginny. Um.. So, like, I know, you're supposed to like fix yourself up, but you'd say like um what did I do huh? No one would care. You'd just kinda sit there and in the end just pull out as a mixed reaction. I guess Ginny would be pretty strict. I just am someone who deserves something and was locked away by Tim Burton and my dad in Orlando, which I like. Can I tell you why? Because it's Florida. Do you know about that? I grew to love the love of the exoticism and I mean don't wonder about room and proportion. I used to live here, and coming back is like a joy from Heaven. It is so nice. It's the people who move here who are all mean. It's true. It's a secret. I mean, I guess that the mom wasn't interested. Like, she thought the girl was so pretty, but I mean it was rude. Like, I mean, I don't know if she really thought that, but I MEAN I DON'T THINK THAT STUFF. As with Ginny, I mean, what. I am a good person, locked away, used to be more detailed, but I mean if you're not white and you wanna be what do you do? I might be an invalid, but I mean so are you all. I used to be more alive and sorta got all the gush sucked outta me when I posted @ Tim Burton, and now no one likes me. I'm so lonely, you know? I was really so mad when he didn't talk to me. He stopped. I was in an experiment and thought I was supposed to for fun and mad with racism call his daughter the N word. I don't take my dad's racism, and he leaves me little shits around about it. You all can't love me. You just love my parents. My life was always like busy. When my mom came in, I was rather poking a stick at her to get back at Ginny. I guess my mom is more of a person, you know? Just, I lived out my European side, in a way. I mean, I grew up with my mom because of race and um I guess because I -am- a girl. What are you doing with my dad? I mean, I don't take the flaws of my mom. Also, I am very interested in everyone's racial problems. ,=D
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Something Strange
I just m**********, and like I wanted to but when I did it I didn't feel it, felt more like an adult. Then, there was a little ***** and like this m**** stuff.
Something Strange
People are mean to me when I am good and mean to others only when mean to people like me. They have special codes on being mean and wanting to f me up. People should go by me as though I am presentable, not worry if I am chubby or not in shape.
Also, I am especially symetrical, and that's why so many European people just hate me.
Also, what was the big thing about bees with kids with dads born in 1950? What if we are interested in things like being authoritative over their children so we can rest later and have fun finally, like go out and meet people like Johnny Depp? And OTHERS. }:]
Also, I am especially symetrical, and that's why so many European people just hate me.
Also, what was the big thing about bees with kids with dads born in 1950? What if we are interested in things like being authoritative over their children so we can rest later and have fun finally, like go out and meet people like Johnny Depp? And OTHERS. }:]
What should I do?
I want to go to bed but kinda think I'm not gonna. Dunno. It would make me feel good. I don't feel like it. I mean, maybe I will, but I was thinking of playing the piano. Maybe, I will lie down and get up. More sushi? What else.. pizza?
Problem
All Ellen DeGeneres does is complain and she'll tell you the wrong thing. No 1 talk to "New Orleans."
Problem
On Facebook, it just shows my dad and aunt all the time under Friends. Um.. how stupid is that! ;D'
Problem
You all are really sick to put your hands in my life like sickos like that and sorta hiccup up that it's about something I did wrong that you contrapted. That's kinda sick, in and of itself. I know you all are just racist and think I think I'm a good person is "just becuase I have good parents" or because you like my mom as a person and my dad doesn't like himself. I can live my own life and be as good as other people. I don't know what the fart you think you are, but no matter where we live we can do whatever we want. I don't give a fuck, I know your cultures down south were like fastforwarded to say you're better, but you don't give a shit about anything. I lived down south, and I'm not rebellious about up north being better.
More
The father of a girl who unfriended me wrote a long Easter post. He was President of the community theater. I just did youth theater there, which mostly took place in the summer those years. I wanted to do it earlier but didn't feel like it, guess I didn't get any better, didn't work out enough, martial arts once a week + an easy ballet class for modern dancers with the younger girls.
Problem
I can't access my old theater teacher's Facebook. I left some comments, yesterday. It still shows up, publicly. My old account doesn't have access. What a piece of shit. I guess she's tired of me. What the fuck is her problem, is she a nigger? Why are people slowly not talking to me. That is so stupid. You know, that is terribly mean and unheard of. I guess Ellen DeGeneres comes from a nigger town. I have so many problems with Ginny because of Tim Burton. I have problems with others because of Johnny Depp. F.Y.I., Facebook has a different layout, and I saw my dad's Facebook photo pop up and they featured Family and then slid down to movies. Why do people keep torturing me? I was having fun posting, posted a bit shorter, guess she thinks she's not a nigger or something! ,:0 **** her! I'm sorry, but you're all niggers to sit there and think I do stupid stuff, like if I have to m******** because no one talks to me!!! WTF you think I am? I have no friends. All the famous people hate me, like my achievements are jokes they care not about. I don't know WTF you are, but I'm not 17.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Exercised
Waiting for my bed to evaporate the Febreeze. Then, I make it and maybe go to bed, maybe wake up and do PE hw. Dunno, have to get ready, too, though. 11:22, waking up @ maybe what 5? Maybe..
What I'm Doing
4th layer of nail polish which is sparkles drying.
Have to wake up and pack I guess, oh yea want to do workouts but am tired but know I need to do them. More Jillian Michaels? All I've got, no money on my card, my mom took it. So, what, core, butt, chest, upper and core? xp It helps a lot, then side sit-ups. Maybe stay up and finish Weight Training 1 hw so I can get credit, couldn't do all of the last 1, really, but she said it's in order, don't think it was. I found it wasn't like a class teaching it, we just look up words in a book. It's okay but I mean might take an hour. 10:27 P.M.
Have to wake up and pack I guess, oh yea want to do workouts but am tired but know I need to do them. More Jillian Michaels? All I've got, no money on my card, my mom took it. So, what, core, butt, chest, upper and core? xp It helps a lot, then side sit-ups. Maybe stay up and finish Weight Training 1 hw so I can get credit, couldn't do all of the last 1, really, but she said it's in order, don't think it was. I found it wasn't like a class teaching it, we just look up words in a book. It's okay but I mean might take an hour. 10:27 P.M.
Tacky
Why do people like my mom think I'm tacky because my dad is born in Pennsylvania + how he's born in 1950?
Also
There are videos in Australia of her saying Aussies are exceedingly attractive and she could buy a house there. There were so many of those videos at the end.
Ate
Sushi
Rump Roast and Old Beef *BLEH*
Cooked Italian Greens, this time didn't have so much. :|
the rest of the white cake and extra vanilla frosting and Breyer's vanilla ice cream
nighttime quelling tea, more hot water on stove
Rump Roast and Old Beef *BLEH*
Cooked Italian Greens, this time didn't have so much. :|
the rest of the white cake and extra vanilla frosting and Breyer's vanilla ice cream
nighttime quelling tea, more hot water on stove
TV
So, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" isn't showing? She's away. It said she'd do the show there. Also, she was sick 2 weeks ago. I don't think she did the show, last week.
Late Mid-Term 4 Acting 1
1. So, far, about the class, I feel it's just an opportunity to come in and act, like when I did singing you just come in and sing.
I think I'm doing well, for a 1st try. I feel I can correct myself.
I think my performance is refined and just find it as a practicing opportunity. I just don't really know about my age and past experience.
My concentration is pretty good, but I find the class is just a fun class but not fun about acting, really. I should probably be able to explain more, but that's all I think. It's not really important. I wouldn't like the other acting classes, anyway.
My ability to take direction is fine.
I work well with others, but they can tell I have problems, like with my race and health. However, I find they think I think I deserve too much.
I try to compare with other people, but I mean they seem kinda racist, like maybe they look more like a movie star than me, you know like a child starlet or like if there were some big, tall supermodel.
I am just frustrated, really just came in to have a good time because you never know what will happen in your life. Actually, I would have came last semester, stayed home to get better, but I wasn't sure I would. However, things just went downhill. I had to stop calling my grandma. I figured, if I didn't go, then I'd get mad. It was a miserable time at home. If I didn't know about your class, I'd just wait and look for something else.
2. What do you mean taking direction without defensiveness?? I cannot say you are unoffensive, and I mean if someone told me I was offensive I'd take it in stride..
I think my voice is stronger than most people's. It's just not as specific, like as thin-worn.
My diction is appealing and unappaling. However, I have a hard time with German sounds.
My movement seems pretty spot-on because I've always been like self-conscious.
My dance is probably better than most actors since I'm also a ballerina and did gymnastics and athletics..
My facial expression is getting better. The nose strip really helped, but I know you can't use them all the time.
My flexibility is like weird, like I can't seem to bend over the right way, like I'm not European, like I'm a poor, thin Asian man.
My concentration seems better than most people's. I mean, I know like having sparkly, blue eyes is good.
My memorization is very good. I don't feel as fuzzy on it and am not as nervous about forgetting. However, I guess since I cleaned my room maybe my life will be less strenuous. I have my camera set up now so I can post it on YouTube and wait and see if anyone will ever comment, not hard to record.
My discipline to work hard is not under the par.
Taking direction carefully is something I care about immensely.
I take direction without defensiveness. I guess some people are just worried about who they are, like their lifestyle, should get a blog.
My creativity seems to be more fervent than others's passion for impressing others for attention.
My improv skills seem pretty stale and raw, but I'm getting there, by and by.
Other things are maybe I just need more time reading drama, but I mean I find I'm made fun of for a lotta c*** I read. I mostly blog and read blogs and even have blogs with my own stories I made during a time I just stayed home, last semester, and took walks and watched the TV show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I like "Cats" fanfic, but I did that when it came out, the DVD, in 1998. I guess I need to get healthier. I noticed my skills digressing, as well. Like, sometimes, when I act, it's not really as stellar, like because I'm in the process of preparing for something else in my life. So, it might be like when I started singing, and I have interesting emotional moments, weird ways of pronouncing things in American English and ***y gestures.
3. Distracting physical habits may include my hair. I've already tried dying it, actually, and went bald. That may have been the cause of my problems. Maybe, I didn't like my bangs. Maybe, I didn't like the hair gloss. It was supposed to wash out, you know. So, I just was worried it really is too expensive to get a perm at my age and stature. I mean, it's not blonde, so I don't know how to dye it. People expect it to be black because my mom is Asian. I guess with Middle Easterners, it must be a different situation. I'm gonna look at the hair products and see if I can fluff it up and thicken it. I've already been using Sheer Blonde for so long but had it dark recently. It was brown before but like looked black sometimes, so. It just seems like kinda spuddy and maybe Eurasian. I don't see anything good about it. I mean, shiny hair is good, but if it's always black it doesn't really count. I can't do anything about my ancestors, but my mom is not very dark. I guess I also didn't dye it because I realized that no color would blend in, at my age. I'm not from up north, and I don't know any Eurasians from there. I see lots of people dye their hair, so maybe I want to be different. I mean, I wouldn't make it very red, though it used to be red. It's just that black undertone, I'm trying to make it naturally better.
I used to always touch my thick, fluffy hair. When it was less fluffy, I would touch my nose, though. Now, I tend to get irritated from an embarrassing thing "online." I think getting up and going to Valencia helped. That's really my problem now. I have to say Tim Burton ruined my life. I was a big fan and still am. I mean, I couldn't improve at home, as a result of the hardships of being a fan. Johnny Depp made me m*********. I mean, I did that when I was 7-10 and not as often until my life became an experiment. I don't know what's wrong with it, but like weird thoughts make you do it. I just don't like how people make you feel all at once and you can't live your dream and be like a Flower Child. That's always been frowned upon. I think now we understand things better and could make life better for kids today. It's just like maybe something's not there. I firmly believe in the environment. So, what this does for my acting is like I mean I've always tried to be like stellar and quick, and I know some people, like strict people, are like that very much so, and you have to dig in and find out about it. I have subtle wrinkles of the face from being a thinner, gaunt, but not too thin person.
4. My greatest strengths as an actor so far are probably just like I mean I've been at home working on meditating myself but being unable to see anyone. I just post online and post myself singing, but I don't get comments so much at all. I think that's helped me the most. I just feel you didn't say like oh you're supposed to know about feeling good or I will help you refine yourself or oh this class is just for fun and like reading plays or me writing anything is not an option. I mean, you could at least like interpret something, but I mean maybe I missed something. I just don't know the benchmarks. I come in and do it and it feels funny getting credit hours for this, I mean, but I mean it's probably okay since I've done ballet. I do believe in your creed. I just don't come in submitting to s*** like about scripts. I know on IMDb they think it's about scripts, and I think that killed me. I've delved into something, and I didn't get something out of it. No one acknowledges how I can go into a movie, a musical, something I know about and something I care about. It's like an assignment, but no one cares. It's some thing that no one cares about because I'm the 1 who said it.
I think I'm doing well, for a 1st try. I feel I can correct myself.
I think my performance is refined and just find it as a practicing opportunity. I just don't really know about my age and past experience.
My concentration is pretty good, but I find the class is just a fun class but not fun about acting, really. I should probably be able to explain more, but that's all I think. It's not really important. I wouldn't like the other acting classes, anyway.
My ability to take direction is fine.
I work well with others, but they can tell I have problems, like with my race and health. However, I find they think I think I deserve too much.
I try to compare with other people, but I mean they seem kinda racist, like maybe they look more like a movie star than me, you know like a child starlet or like if there were some big, tall supermodel.
I am just frustrated, really just came in to have a good time because you never know what will happen in your life. Actually, I would have came last semester, stayed home to get better, but I wasn't sure I would. However, things just went downhill. I had to stop calling my grandma. I figured, if I didn't go, then I'd get mad. It was a miserable time at home. If I didn't know about your class, I'd just wait and look for something else.
2. What do you mean taking direction without defensiveness?? I cannot say you are unoffensive, and I mean if someone told me I was offensive I'd take it in stride..
I think my voice is stronger than most people's. It's just not as specific, like as thin-worn.
My diction is appealing and unappaling. However, I have a hard time with German sounds.
My movement seems pretty spot-on because I've always been like self-conscious.
My dance is probably better than most actors since I'm also a ballerina and did gymnastics and athletics..
My facial expression is getting better. The nose strip really helped, but I know you can't use them all the time.
My flexibility is like weird, like I can't seem to bend over the right way, like I'm not European, like I'm a poor, thin Asian man.
My concentration seems better than most people's. I mean, I know like having sparkly, blue eyes is good.
My memorization is very good. I don't feel as fuzzy on it and am not as nervous about forgetting. However, I guess since I cleaned my room maybe my life will be less strenuous. I have my camera set up now so I can post it on YouTube and wait and see if anyone will ever comment, not hard to record.
My discipline to work hard is not under the par.
Taking direction carefully is something I care about immensely.
I take direction without defensiveness. I guess some people are just worried about who they are, like their lifestyle, should get a blog.
My creativity seems to be more fervent than others's passion for impressing others for attention.
My improv skills seem pretty stale and raw, but I'm getting there, by and by.
Other things are maybe I just need more time reading drama, but I mean I find I'm made fun of for a lotta c*** I read. I mostly blog and read blogs and even have blogs with my own stories I made during a time I just stayed home, last semester, and took walks and watched the TV show "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I like "Cats" fanfic, but I did that when it came out, the DVD, in 1998. I guess I need to get healthier. I noticed my skills digressing, as well. Like, sometimes, when I act, it's not really as stellar, like because I'm in the process of preparing for something else in my life. So, it might be like when I started singing, and I have interesting emotional moments, weird ways of pronouncing things in American English and ***y gestures.
3. Distracting physical habits may include my hair. I've already tried dying it, actually, and went bald. That may have been the cause of my problems. Maybe, I didn't like my bangs. Maybe, I didn't like the hair gloss. It was supposed to wash out, you know. So, I just was worried it really is too expensive to get a perm at my age and stature. I mean, it's not blonde, so I don't know how to dye it. People expect it to be black because my mom is Asian. I guess with Middle Easterners, it must be a different situation. I'm gonna look at the hair products and see if I can fluff it up and thicken it. I've already been using Sheer Blonde for so long but had it dark recently. It was brown before but like looked black sometimes, so. It just seems like kinda spuddy and maybe Eurasian. I don't see anything good about it. I mean, shiny hair is good, but if it's always black it doesn't really count. I can't do anything about my ancestors, but my mom is not very dark. I guess I also didn't dye it because I realized that no color would blend in, at my age. I'm not from up north, and I don't know any Eurasians from there. I see lots of people dye their hair, so maybe I want to be different. I mean, I wouldn't make it very red, though it used to be red. It's just that black undertone, I'm trying to make it naturally better.
I used to always touch my thick, fluffy hair. When it was less fluffy, I would touch my nose, though. Now, I tend to get irritated from an embarrassing thing "online." I think getting up and going to Valencia helped. That's really my problem now. I have to say Tim Burton ruined my life. I was a big fan and still am. I mean, I couldn't improve at home, as a result of the hardships of being a fan. Johnny Depp made me m*********. I mean, I did that when I was 7-10 and not as often until my life became an experiment. I don't know what's wrong with it, but like weird thoughts make you do it. I just don't like how people make you feel all at once and you can't live your dream and be like a Flower Child. That's always been frowned upon. I think now we understand things better and could make life better for kids today. It's just like maybe something's not there. I firmly believe in the environment. So, what this does for my acting is like I mean I've always tried to be like stellar and quick, and I know some people, like strict people, are like that very much so, and you have to dig in and find out about it. I have subtle wrinkles of the face from being a thinner, gaunt, but not too thin person.
4. My greatest strengths as an actor so far are probably just like I mean I've been at home working on meditating myself but being unable to see anyone. I just post online and post myself singing, but I don't get comments so much at all. I think that's helped me the most. I just feel you didn't say like oh you're supposed to know about feeling good or I will help you refine yourself or oh this class is just for fun and like reading plays or me writing anything is not an option. I mean, you could at least like interpret something, but I mean maybe I missed something. I just don't know the benchmarks. I come in and do it and it feels funny getting credit hours for this, I mean, but I mean it's probably okay since I've done ballet. I do believe in your creed. I just don't come in submitting to s*** like about scripts. I know on IMDb they think it's about scripts, and I think that killed me. I've delved into something, and I didn't get something out of it. No one acknowledges how I can go into a movie, a musical, something I know about and something I care about. It's like an assignment, but no one cares. It's some thing that no one cares about because I'm the 1 who said it.
Recieved E-Mail
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UCF Valencia West
Building 11 Room 115
Date:
Tuesday, March 26
Time:
Pre-Health at 1:00-2:00
Pre-Law at 2:30-3:30
What I'm Doing
I did my laundry and am washing my bedding, took a nice shower-bath but no fancy gel. What else? Did my face.. Combed my hair or brushed. Hm..cooking. Plan to do my theater midterm, memorize, and PE hw. Get ready and go to bed. Maybe watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" when I wake up, unless I'm catching the bus, in which case I can watch it on my cell, at school.
Dream
I met like 4 girls who looked the same, some taller enough, sleek, thick, reddish blonde haire, bangs, freckles, English, with an accent like me that lumps to American speakers. We were in a big camp class. They were nice to me. I told them about Ginny. I think we were in a big auditorium with her, and she was sitting in it. She got up and told us about the assignment, but there was only a slice of me there, I really couldn't soak anything in. Then, I got out and spoke with some people, I think a mellow, cute boy who helped. I was reveling the whole time in the average hight being 5'2", wanting to connect that.. So, anyway, then, for some reason, I thought about Ellen DeGeneres, and I was feeling bad, like a bird or baby pony, I found when I woke up like because I was simply being attacked, and so, like I was posting what if I was a kid, so I imagined like I was a kid and she picked me up, though it didn't feel too real, just made me feel like recognized, and I said, "mom!" and barely recognize how that happened nor any feeling with it, you know, and I guess I imagined person said for whatever reason, "Okay," and like you do to a kid I learned from observing my environment.. she put my head down and then I thought ha what if my back was being rubbed because I was nervous I guess and that lasted a bit and then she quickly went around to the room of the meeting and since we knew Ginny must be there + my parents we went back out and I had to change and come back in and for some reason she just showed up and left after a bit. Well, she was there when I cursed about the medicine and stuff repeatedly. My high school principal, who retired, was there. Funny. I remember saying, "Shit." I might post more about it, later.
Not Sappy
Why do people keep picking on me? OMG Tim Burton. I mean, I'm not a bad person. I'm so sorry to break it to you. I didn't prevent anyone from living their life, and I'm not gay and sappy.
Problem
I saw these ads and it's irritating me. WTF is this? OMG you niggers go away. WTF you think I am.
Problem
I am very annoyed and want to select my company. I feel like people who are more like menial than me want me to feel menial. You know, like younger people thinking I must be a nigger and looking into me. Look, I'm not gonna sit there and fuck my life is shit because I didn't fuck it up.
A Great Depression
When people think @ Ginny, what do they think? I mean, each person is different. I saw her husband, and he seems Jewish. I mean, they seem to say well she's big and sweet but not too fat and pretty mobile. I think I was thinking about the nostalgia of the world, moreover her images she presents online that I know she for some reason cannot follow through on, which depresses me greatly..
The Opposite "Dream-"
Why if I'm supposed to be cute would the theory be I'm more like my brother as far as wanting to be European when he's a jokester? The thing is he's not really a jokester, any longer.. ..
Dirty
My pimples are dirty, have pimple cream on them. A big puss-filled 1 peeled off in like 3 days. I feel the other 1 pulsing, haven't felt that recently. I know the road is dirty and maybe not good for me, my eyesight seems affected, too. I feel like an earplug is still in my ear. I lay in the bathtub. So, I might go to bed, soon, just because. Ugh, recorded some videos taking awhile to load, 3 that are about 12 minutes long. YouTube. xp, Oh, I have to watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," tomorrow. I think I have a therapist meeting Wednesday, maybe should skip but maybe not, may not be safe. Hm, just won't do my hw? I mean it's just looking up stuff. I see I seem sick from my tan. I have little thin hairs sticking out. I have a Theater journal I forgot, well didn't realize about, was gonna do it now. Seems I may get a C. I will pass the class and move on. Not sure about the Weight Training, might not even be worth it, too hard. We'll see how I feel, I'll have to ask if it's too late since I was out, but it probably is. I don't wanna make up a class but may just figure it out. We have 1 more workbook assignment not sure what else. I just will be so stressed unless I pack when I wake up, did more laundry for the bras.
Facebook Posts
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Facebook Post
Corrine Nagim Is a 19 year old considred a youth? You know your girl would audition. I'd even consider singing with my retainer in.
Do something for yourself.
I go to Ginny's class, an adventure, and she acts like she sorta is in my life, like why don't you do something for yourself?
Something Really Funny
So, why in Slidell has it come about that like it's still recognized by any living soul to wear a colorful shirt? I mean, there's more to life than the color of a kind of shirt.
My Experience
So, if I can dance so well, does that mean my mom dances better? She is more basic. She did gymnastics as a teen. I kinda benefited from 4 different schools as a "young adult." None were good. I had that gymnastics base as a child. My mom wanted to be an ice skater, and my mom wanted her to sing. Her sister is a piano teacher. So, maybe she's a good dancer, too. I just don't know. I mean, I'm from Florida, and I always pay attention to how I move. In the New Orleans area, I always tried to move around like a ballerina.
You're not something.
You just want to make fun of me for the N word thing and don't give a crap about the Earth.
Problem
CAN YOU NIGGERS STOP BITCHING AT ME (like via clicks and glitches) ABOUT MY BENEFITS AND WHO I AM BECAUSE OF WHERE I'VE LIVED AND IF I LIVED THERE SINCE BIRTH
Taunting
You know what makes me really mad? When people taunt me. What happened to my face in my sleep? All of a sudden it was totally slammed and I'm awake and now it looks like that. Why do you want to get me to make a fool of myself and say I dreamed like I was a kid and someone was like holding me in their arms? D: Well, I accepted it but think it was weird. It seemed like a "change" from what I'd been eating, but I found it was all concocted. It's probably a lesson to help me with. Hey, why do you keep whining every time I sit there and try to think of something and check over myself? You think I'm "not something" racially? You think I'm IMMORAL
Facebook Post
Ginny Kopf Please
talk to me personally about this comment about me, rather than posting
it on Facebook. It is neither accurate nor appropriate to share on
Facebook.
Christina Barrett OK,
sorry, I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow and probably be in class
this week so I don't miss anything, guess I won't be withdrawing, this
semester..
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Ate
So, yesterday, I had a hot burrito and vegetable juice.
I came home and had most of a pack of sushi, think crab and cheese.
I also had 2 Hot Pockets.
I came home and had most of a pack of sushi, think crab and cheese.
I also had 2 Hot Pockets.
Not Anymore
So, Ginny is not something, therefore Orlando is not something. I mean it, whether or not you already sorta settled on this a long time ago.
Feeling White
I guess I had to learn to react. I'm just wondering if there's anyone who didn't marry a nigger to program me who stimulated me. I saw my mom's cousin, and I felt European and stuff around her.
Who're you on about?
Okay, I've seen **** boys from New Orleans. I just know they think the world is modern and they care more about you as a person. It's kinda like about personality and stuff. I fear though that there are Italians and Jews leading the ring. The ring isn't Italian and Jewish. I've seen cool boys here, too. :| You know, my brother existed when I was almost 4. I had problems at 2, as well, and, apparently, 3. I mean, we should be nice to him, but I mean, it's like he shouldn't have been born. I mean, I got fat when my mom started to ignore me and I saw she was pregnant and my neat hair was cut. I looked cute sometimes. I didn't always feel European. I was like a mold. I was like healthy and good, but I mean my parents thought we were poor. I mean, what? My mom even had time to open a raw chicken but not anymore. What would they have fed me? Why no like cabbage? Normal stuff. I wonder how I grew. I mean, I was a growing girl. I don't feel healthy. I'm always hungry. I know being busy also makes you small, and I want long legs. I mean, I was wondering what a normal hight was, and it is 5'2".
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